listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
either way he was missing a nipple.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
