Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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