Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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