Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
