You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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