how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
