i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
