thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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