Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
