We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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