Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
