Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
