yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
