Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
