I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
so explain again why im purple
no
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
