i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
