I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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