Already got asked if we're dating
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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