We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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