talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
