doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
