and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
