peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
