Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
