You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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