Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
