okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
