I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
