I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
