Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
