we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
