So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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