end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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