Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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