I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
