her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
