I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize