I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
dude i'm inner monologue high
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
