hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
