sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
