i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
