she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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