you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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