he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
