bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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