fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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