Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
