dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
