wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
