Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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