No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
